‘It feels like my space is never really mine’: 18-year-old puts a lock on his bedroom door and stocks up on food while his mother is abroad due to his extended family, who are living with him, repeatedly invading his room and belongings

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 21, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Living in a crowded household instills a specific type of anxiety within a young child. You're never familiar with the concept of personal space and privacy, whether that's because you were forced to share a room with one too many people out of necessity, or you live with folks who don't want to grant that to you. Either scenario is unfortunate, but at least in the second circumstance, things can change—or can they?

If you're living with people who don't respect your space because they're inherently nosy people and fail to realize that you deserve respect, then that's a problem. Entitled folks like that don't want to admit that they're the problem, then proceed to gaslight you until you think you're the one who should change. Spoiler alert: You are not the problem.

This next story illustrates just how paranoid a nosy, entitled family member can make you if they continue to disrespect your privacy and physical space. Your phone charger goes missing, your bike is taken out for a stroll, and not one person asks for permission first. Where do you draw the line? How do you persevere? Well, you can start with a nice lock on your bedroom door and stock up on your favorite nonperishables like the 18-year-old in this next story. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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  • 3 "When my aunt found out, she got visibly mad."
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  • "AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door and stocking up on food, even though it made my aunt upset?"

    I (18M) live in a house shared by three families, including my aunt's. For most of my life, I've always been the "too nice" one. I rarely said no, I let people borrow
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  • my things without question, and I tried to avoid conflict even when I felt uncomfortable. But recently I've been trying to set some basic boundaries for my peace of mind.
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  • There have been many small things over the years that built up. For example, my aunt's family regularly took my phone charger
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  • without asking. It happened so often that once when they temporarily moved to another barangay (village), I had to go all the way there just to get my
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  • charger back. They still do this to this day. Her kids also frequently enter my room just to charge their phones. It might seem small, but it feels like my space is never really mine.
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  • The worst situation involves one of her sons. He has, on multiple occasions, come into my room while I'm asleep and used or taken my phone without
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  • permission. Once I finally added a password, he woke me up just to ask me for it. Then he claimed, "I always ask you when I borrow it," which is just not true. It made me really uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to say no at the time.
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  • There's also the issue of my bike. People from the household used to take it without asking and break parts of it without repairing
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  • anything. I wouldn't have minded if they asked or fixed what they broke, but they didn't. So eventually, I bought a padlock and started locking the bike. As
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  • - soon as I did that, people started asking to borrow it more often almost like they were offended that they had to ask now.
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  • Recently, my mom, who works abroad, sent me money and told me to use it to stock up on food ― specifically non-perishable, cheap food like canned goods
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  • and instant noodles. I did exactly that, buying several boxes to make sure I'd have something to eat during hard times. Ever since, my aunt has started making
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  • sarcastic or passive-aggressive remarks like, "You have food now," especially when I go out or buy anything else. It's like she's implying I don't deserve anything more because I already have food, even though I used my mom's money for something she asked me to do.
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  • All of this has made me feel more and more uncomfortable in my own space. So, a few days ago, I decided to finally install a simple doorknob with a lock on my
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  • bedroom door. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just wanted some privacy, especially since people come into my room uninvited,
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  • even when I'm asleep. I didn't yell or accuse anyone of anything. I just quietly made a small change to feel more secure in my own space.
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  • When my aunt found out, she got visibly mad. She told me I was "destroying the wall," said no one goes into my room except family, and told me I had wasted my
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  • mother's hard-earned money on something unnecessary. To add to it, I overheard her gossiping about me to neighbors, clearly talking behind my back about the lock and the food I bought. It feels like she's punishing me for setting boundaries.
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  • For the record, I still try to be respectful. She's older, and I understand that her family might not have as much as mine. We're not rich, but I know I'm more
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  • blessed in some ways. That's partly why I've let a lot of things slide for so long. I don't want to be selfish. I just want a little bit of privacy and for people to respect my space and things.
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  • So, Guys, am I the ah le for finally putting a lock on my door, saying no more often, and trying to protect what little peace | have?
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  • Hara
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family dynamics family drama aita entitled parents entitlement AITAH reddit story family feud abroad aunt entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit entitled people Parenting FAILS
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